News that you never want to hear

It breaks my heart when terrible things happen this time of year. In the last week I have lost an Uncle, a friend lost her baby at 20 weeks, and my cousin's grandmother died. It never seems to fail that there just seems to be just so much sorrow at this time of year. I don't know if it is just a coincidence or we just seem to notice it more with all the holidays. While I understand that these things are a part of life, something very tragic happened to a person I share a connection with that should never be a part of life. The murder of a child.

I belong to an adoption group online, Adoption.com. It has been a wonderful place of support, education and fun for me and many other families whose lives have somehow been touched by adoption. Our little corner of the Adoption.com world is the Guatemala board. I have been a member since before we even started Carlos' adoption. If you have not experienced the rollercoaster of international adoption I know that it might not make sense. Everything is just so out of your hands and it does take a huge leap of faith to get you thru just those first steps, so having other's who have been there and done that is a huge help. You basically hand your dreams over to someone in a country, most times you have never even seen. In our case it took me a while to even find it on a map. So even though I do not know many of these families personally, we have never met, we share a bond. Thru this board we have become a family, we fight like siblings, we cheer each other on when things seem impossible. We celebrate each other's milestones, such as getting the Dna tests done, getting in PGN. You become experts at words that in any other life would never make sense. You do all this because you know in your heart, deep in your soul, that this child, who was born to another woman, in another country, to another world and language, is your child. Like any parent, whether your child comes to you by birth or adoption, we will do anything for these children. It seems that everyone on the Guatemala board has now become so attached to their child's birth country that we go back for visits, we long for visits, we keep in touch with our foster families. Some people even still help support their foster families, their child's birth families or orphanages that have just found a spot in their hearts. I know that I will never be the same person I was before I traveled to Guatemala and saw for myself the beauty of the country, but also the poverty. Guatemala has become part of me.

I logged on to my Guate board this weekend and found a thread that chilled me to the bone. My heart hurts and I feel so very helpless. One of the family's daughter was murdered in a home invasion. This child was possibly going to be home for Christmas. She was in the final steps of her adoption. I don't know the details, I just know that this is so wrong in so many ways. I cannot even begin to understand this. Josi was 5 years old, a beautiful little girl who's family was looking forward to her homecoming. Now her family is having to deal with this senseless tragedy. They had just paid their final portion of the adoption fees. They have been trying to raise funds for this adoption as many families have done. Now they have lost their child, and from what I understand other's were killed also. I know that it is Christmas time and economically it is hard. If you can, make a donation. If you just don't have the money, please just say a prayer for this family. http://azhderianfamily.blogspot.com/

Wacky Wednesday

Hell Cat

My poppi is having surgery today so I am sending all my love, thoughts and prayers that he is all better really soon.

All of my cats have colds, so imagine me running around here trying to give them medicine and wiping their noses...yep you read that right..I am wiping little kitty boogers. Ahhhh the life of a mommy. We have a new kitty with us right now but I don't think she will be able to stay. First let me give you the history of this little lady. I have mentioned I think that we do kitty foster care. Well this little girl and her sisters and brothers came to us at 2 days old. Katie and I bottle fed and taught them how to use the litter box. So we decided to keep one of the litter, one of the little boys did not make it so we had 2 girls and 1 boy. We kept this one because she was the runt, we had called her everything from flower to Tinkerbell. Well a few months later Carlos came home from Guatemala and poor little defensless thing the cat would attack him. We started calling her Helley or Hell Cat. My sister came over one day and this cat just climbed up on her and that was it a match made in Heaven. Fast forward, Tinkerbell, Tinkerhell, Hell Cat is now called Vegas(yes, my sister has issues, she also has 2 dogs, Reno and Tahoe, I love her anyway) LoL She calls me and tells me that she can't keep Vegas and did I want her back or could I take her to the farm (see the last post about my parents' farm, Snapp Happy Farm, the Barnyard Hilton:) Well we decided to give her another chance..surely it was just a teenage phase she was going thru???? OH NO....this cat is the devil. She is stalking all my sick kitties and chases them thru the house, she attacks from behind furniture, We are all being held hostage by this HELL CAT. So I am going to try to find some wonderful (Sucker) to take this little charm off my hands....just like my rotten sister did...heee heee

The missing Thanksgiving post

A little late but finally getting a chance to post about our Thanksgiving adventure. We visited my father up in Monticello. It is about a 4 hour drive from here and a very beautiful part of Florida. He has a farm up there so the kids love going to feed the cows, pigs, gather eggs and just be able to run around. We drove up Wednesday morning and after we visited a little and unpacked we finally got around to making a drive in town to the grocery store. My dad had left to take my mother to the airport (yes, she was abandoning us for the weekend) so Tony and I headed out to get what we needed for our feast. Only once we got to the end of the driveway did we realize neither of us knew which way to go to get into town. Right? Left? go right...well we passed several things that looked familiar and started to talk, a rare treat since Carlos was asleep in the back and Katie was with Grandpa. After a while we both noticed nothing looked familiar anymore...we get to the end of the road..another dilemma...right or left? Neither we turned around and went back the way we came and started all over..we did finally find the town and eventually we did find the one grocery store in town. After finding most of the things we needed we packed back in the car. A few stops for marshmallows and we were ready to head back home...oh shoot of course we now need gas, maybe because we have driven over God's half acre already. We stop at the gas station and I do the woman thing...go ask for directions on how to get back home since yes....we are lost again. Mind you this is a very very tiny town, where they call the roads..Wacilla road instead of C257 or what ever the name is on a map. Big Daddy is trying to figure out the gas pumps because there is no card slot. Huh? No card slot..what on earth. By this time I am in the midst of one of my menopausal hot flashes because I missed my refemine dose this morning so I walk in to the gas station with a tank top on and no jacket...yes it was 45 degrees...sooooo what's your point? They looked at my like I had 3 heads and when I opened my mouth to ask directions I swear I heard a collective "ahhh haaaa" as if they all understood. I go back out to check on the gas situation to find my husband at a loss, he tells me to go back in and tell the man he wants to fill up and gives me his credit card..no I really don't want to go back in and face the people who have already decided I have escaped from somewhere. Before I can say a word the man says "use like a debit" very loudly in an Indian accent, startled and really convinced I am NOT IN KANSAS ANYMORE TOTO I go back out and tell Tony to "use like a debit" again we search for the little slot. Dejected and really wanting to go home, he goes in...again he does not utter a word "POOOOsh Hrddd" he is told very loudly. Still really not understanding he goes back out and finally manages to get some of that $1.89 petrol in the car (of course we could not have found the one with the $1.75 price) we leave the station and just bumble until we finally find the right road out of town and manage to make it home. It only took us 3 1/2 hours. We were laughing so hard I thought I would pee. OH and did I mention we have a spiffy new GPS that was trying to help us the whole time????

So we put together our pies for the next day and go to bed. We are staying in a camper, a very small camper and Tony and I are not exactly little people, plus Carlos and our 2 dogs. Katie had the sense to stay at the house and sleep on the couch. The next day was absolutely beautiful, sunny and nice and cool. We cooked and baked and fried and had a marvelous meal at 1:30. The day was perfect and we all had a very good day. It was very nice to spend the holiday with my Poppi, I don't get to see him a lot and sometimes when we do, we don't play nice. There is something about a father/daughter being just alike that makes it hard to get along sometimes. We love each other very very much, we just don't always agree. But today we were both on our best behaviours and it was a perfect holiday. Oh and that morning Tony, Katie, Carlos and I all read our blessings from the blessing box that we fill with notes from the past year. I love this little tradition we have, it is very fun and helps remind us of all the wonderful memories of the past year.

Thursday afternoon we went fishing and I caught the biggest fish I have ever caught. A large mouth bass no less. I thought the only thing in the pond were monstrous catfish.

Friday the rain started and did not stop. It is very hard to keep two kids entertained in a little house that is not accustomed to having little people. Tony took the kids to the mall and I decided to surprise my mom by dusting, she hates to do it. So I got to watch old Bette Davis and Joan Crawford movies with my pop and clean a little.

Sunday we headed home and it has to have been the worst car trip ever. What should have been a 4 hour trip took us around 6 1/2 to 7 hours. Many times our top speed on the interstate was 25 miles per hour.

In spite of the long trip home it was a wonderful weekend and I am very thankful I got to spend it with my Poppi, whom I love with all my heart, and my beautiful perfect little family.

Halloween

Too much fun
Squirt
My Bug trying to keep warm while carving pumpkins
Squirt and the Dark Fairy (who forgot her antennas)
Cheeseball smiles

Ok so I am finally posting pictures from Halloween. The kids really enjoyed carving the pumpkins the night before. We did one for each of us. Mommy had fun carving them too. I wasn't sure Carlos would wear his costume since he was a little apprehensive in the days prior but when the big day arrived he couldn't wait. Thanks to his big sister who seems to be able to get him to do anything somedays. Katie was a dark fairy and had friends with her so we let them venture out on their own. Carlos was Squirt from Nemo again since his costume still fit. Once we went outside there was no holding him back. He took to it like an old pro and wanted to hit all the houses. There was a group having a hay ride and he climbed up on the wagon and invited himself along even though he did not know any of the people. They were sweet and let him join in their fun. That is the nice thing about our neighborhood, everyone is really kid friendly. So he would jump off the wagon with the big kids and go to the doors then back on the wagon to go down another few houses and do it all over again. I thought I was in for a very short night thinking he would only want to do a few houses and then go home and eat his candy...wrong. After the hay ride came to an end we continued around our block and finally made it home. We were gone approximately 2 hours and I had to carry him about half of that time. We were both exhausted. Once we got home his daddy tried to change him for bed but he would not have it, he insisted on wearing his costume more and wanted to watch tv. It was all too much for him but he would still not give up the lollipop.

A day at work

Have I ever mentioned what an awesome life I have? My boss is really cool, I can work in my jammies and never get dressed, and my work involves playing ball or just watching tv. My daughter stayed home again today with her icky stomach and Carlos is on day two of a cold. Unfortunately when he is coughing like this the only thing I can give him is Ventolin (otherwise none as Kiddy Speed)I have often suggested to the Pediatrician that he needs to hand the mommies a prescription for xanax when he hands them the prescription for Ventolin. It does work and helps knock the cough out of their chest but weeeeeeeeeeehhhhhhhhhheeeeeeeeewwwwwwwww does it make them crazy. Today though we all three just hung out in my bed, watched TV, looked at old photo albums and took a long nap. Then the kids used a tracing thing to make Halloween pictures, and as Carlos likes to say "kirkles" since he cannot pronounce the "s" sound. We all sat in the laundry room(a very small room indeed) and played with our latest batch of kittens. One of them we call Dust Bunny,she will hide under the dresser and that is just what she looks like. I guess it was a pretty good day at work.

This past weekend we went to our local pumpkin festival and here are some pictures we took. Right now Carlos is going thru a "don't take my picture" phase so good pictures of him are far and few between lately.

A tisket a tasket I just ordered a basket

Here is Berta, who Carlos calls Teetee and Karla delivering the basket.
I found out about this really cool service and ordered the essentials basket for my foster mom. I am beyond excited and cannot wait to get my picture and see what her reaction is. I think the name is perfect Not Forgot in Guat. I have tried to make sure our foster mom understands that we will never ever forget her. I will definately be ordering again and will post a picture when I get one of my foster mom with her basket. I placed my order about 30 minutes ago and have already gotten a response that they will be verifying the address tomorrow. Please go to www.notforgotinguat.com and check it out.

Guatoberfest 2008

We had such a wonderful time at Guatoberfest. I have not posted yet because I am still having a hard time putting words to what an amazing experience it was. So many beautiful babies, so many happy families. We met so many great people, and even finally got to put faces with some friends I have made on the adoption board. I heard stories that touched my heart. I still don't really totally understand the pull I have for Guatemala other than that is where my son would be born one day, but I can see that I am not alone.